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 One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training

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Sleepless



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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Wed Jun 15, 2011 5:10 pm

I ignore it, if you can't handle people mocking you then maybe you should reconsider doing this.
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DarkShadow

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Wed Jun 15, 2011 11:01 pm

Urban Avenger wrote:
DarkShadow wrote:
Taunted in real life: stare...then taser their sorry asses.

NOT this.


Ok, In that case...Stare at them, unceasingly...till they get so unnerved that they shut the hell up...or run away.



DarkShadow out
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Urban Avenger

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Wed Jun 15, 2011 11:02 pm

Ookay yes, I do that sometimes.

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Flora V. Arbor

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Wed Jun 15, 2011 11:36 pm

what DarkShadow said

and, as a children's entertainer and creater of my own
shoes, I get laughed at a lot.

Stride and smile.

As it is your family, Polarman,
the first thing that I will share is that,
you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family.

Second, that much bother usually means - jealously.

Smile and sing at them.

Sing a song that will get stuuck in their heads and not come out
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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Thu Jun 16, 2011 12:00 am

I just act as if I agree if I am not in costume
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DarkShadow

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Thu Jun 16, 2011 11:27 am

Flora V. Arbor wrote:


Sing a song that will get stuck in their heads and not come out


That's just plain cruel Flora...

Love it Twisted Evil



DarkShadow out
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E0N (Inactive)

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Thu Jun 16, 2011 1:02 pm

There's also a difference between a "civilian" laughing at a person wearing an outfit that deviates pretty far from social norms and actually bullying someone.

I think I said this a long time ago and I haven't pursued it as perfectly or consistently as I've meant to, but, one thing I recommend if you want to deal with this kind of thing artfully is to practice some form of public performance. For me that's (amateur) standup, which leads to encountering hecklers.

Where the learning experience comes in is you (usually) can't just "pwn" a heckler, because that's way too mean and suddenly all the regular people in the audience hate you. But you also can't just let a heckler dominate you, because suddenly all the regular people in the audience aren't interested any more.

So ideally what you learn to do is "control" them. And I think that's ideally what you should do with non-violent non-combative people on the street that present themselves as an obstacle to whatever you're trying to accomplish.

And I guess that's all I have to say about that.

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DRock

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Thu Jun 16, 2011 1:59 pm

I think Proteus is spot on.

I don't think it's enough to just ignore. I've tried that before when I was severely bullied as a kid, a teen and an adult. Sometimes it works. Sometimes a persistent bastard who has it out for you will escalate. And then what do you do? It's not like you can hit them. It's bad for PR. So you just put up with it? That doesn't stop anything.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but ignoring is not enough. You have to back it up with confidence. You have to feel like you're a superhero. You have to project that you can handle any situation, including a heckler, and the heckler has to know it.

I mean, look at a guy like Superhero. He's so confident on screen. Who'd want to mess with that? How can you make fun of a guy who commands such respect?

(Ok, his training and his massive biceps may have something to do with it...)

But still! He projects confidence. Always looks like he's in total control.

Maybe that's what you guys need. Watch Superhero. Hell, watch Caesar Milan! They both do the same thing!
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Flora V. Arbor

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Thu Jun 16, 2011 2:04 pm

Thank you, Dark Shadow. Wink

@eon - Please, what is "pwn"?
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Flora V. Arbor

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Thu Jun 16, 2011 2:06 pm

DRock, ...Caeser Milan! GOod Idea!

That man is aces!


PS. I think that Polarman said that his family was doing this.
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E0N (Inactive)

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Thu Jun 16, 2011 2:19 pm

Flora, "pwn" is slang that came from a typo for "own" and it basically means to thoroughly dominate and defeat/destroy someone.

DRock, you have to have a reasonable definition of the word "bullying," though. If I put on a pink chicken suit and walk down the street and people gawk at me and say "ha ha, you look like a $#%&ing pink chicken, you %$#&!" I'm seriously not being "bullied." If they step forward and start pushing me around (physically) and telling me I'd be better off if I just slit my wrists and stopped wasting oxygen... okay... yes.

I don't like to talk about folks who aren't here, but since I only have good things to say...

Superhero appears credible for a bunch of reasons. Maintaining his physique is one and being able to kick someone's ass is another -- it's more than just projecting confidence and having a sweet car. It's obviously something he worked and trained to achieve.

"He projects confidence. Always looks like he's in total control." The thing is that he probably is in total control in most situations. And the thing to try and emulate is not looking like you're confident or trying to imitate his demeanor, it's being confident because you have good reasons to be.


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DRock

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Thu Jun 16, 2011 2:25 pm

Not sure what to do about family. :-(

Not sure how a 'It's my life, I'll do what I want.' approach will work. That's the best I can come up with.

I am in training mode, and the hardest part is self confidence... by far. I was severely bullied during my childhood and my teens. I was told to stand up for myself, even by my own father, but it seemed every time I did I was beaten down further until I just... gave up.

('The nail that sticks out gets hammered'. An apt analogy. What people don't realize about that analogy is that if you don't hit the nail properly or if its hit too hard, you end up bending the nail. Thus aptly, 'hammering the nail' to make people conform or establish a pecking order results in a lot of people who become damaged goods.)

I thank god that I'm an adult who has enough wisdom to learn and undo that damage, but it is not easy.
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Flora V. Arbor

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Thu Jun 16, 2011 2:36 pm

@ eon, oh. thx
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Flora V. Arbor

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Thu Jun 16, 2011 2:40 pm

DRock, yay for being able to grow up and move away!




EON, I'll have you know that I put on a chicken suit and/or a pink gorrilla suit
and sing "Happy Birthday/Happy Retirement/Congradulations" for a living!

Bullied, I don't get. I move fast and roar loudly and SEEK to mess up people's
trains of thought WAAAAHAAAA!!!!

yassir, I DO!
Wink

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Artisteroi

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Thu Jun 16, 2011 2:41 pm

I find that it helps to over compensate as well. If someone starts giggling at you, puff out your chest, strike a dynamic pose, say some superhero cliche, try to use the word "citizen". Then laugh with them. Because what we do is kinda goofy. You shouldnt take yourself too seriously. Superhero is confident, but he does laugh at himself all the time. You have to be able to take a joke. Sticks and stones you know.
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Flora V. Arbor

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Thu Jun 16, 2011 2:45 pm

...what Artisteroi typed!
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DRock

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Thu Jun 16, 2011 2:55 pm

E0N wrote:


DRock, you have to have a reasonable definition of the word "bullying," though. If I put on a pink chicken suit and walk down the street and people gawk at me and say "ha ha, you look like a $#%&ing pink chicken, you %$#&!" I'm seriously not being "bullied." If they step forward and start pushing me around (physically) and telling me I'd be better off if I just slit my wrists and stopped wasting oxygen... okay... yes.



I've been there. Name calling's just background noise. But being told that I shouldn't be allowed to live really hurt. And I've been told that a lot.

I've also been beaten up, gangbeaten, nearly run over, and had been insulted and undermined in many non creative ways.

I think the worst was post Columbine. Being surrounded, shouted, insulted, pushed, and then being told, 'What are you gonna do about it? Shoot the school?'.

Of course I can't. I couldn't. They knew it. It drove the point home that I was powerless to stop them, that any action I could take would get me in further trouble. A gun shot would ruin my life. A thrown punch would get me expelled. That feeling of not being able to or not allowed to do anything reasonable to stand up for yourself is the worst.

So yeah, been there, put up with that. I'd rather take the fists and shoves than to feel that helpless and worthless again, thank you very much.

I'm not some celebrity soundbite that says 'Oh, I've put up with bullying. I've been told I wasn't pretty.' Etc. Everyone's put up with that level. I said I was severely bullied, and I MEAN it. I am not talking out of my ass here.


(Oh dear... I seemed to have gotten a bit too em-passionate about the subject... And sorry Flora... I seem to have not matured much at all if this still bothers me so.)
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E0N (Inactive)

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Thu Jun 16, 2011 3:27 pm

I think more people than you realize on this site have had similar experiences, actually. Don't let it get to you.

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Bearman

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Fri Jun 17, 2011 1:04 pm

I'll admit I usually patrol in plain clothes but the few times I've gone out in full costume I haven't heard much. Most of the time they scoff and walk away. Probably a better choice than openly berating a huge, armored man with bear ears. What I am still surprised by is how supportive people usually are. Its easy to expect the worst when you finally got your whole costume on, look in the mirror and think "This is what I'm doing with my life..." But once you get out there people don't laugh so much as they cheer you on. Many seem eager to help, even. What I'm getting at is the best way to overcome all the negativity in the world is to accentuate the positive. Try to shift your perspective and think about all the people who looked in your eyes, shook your hand and thanked you just for trying to make a difference. Those are the moments that should matter most.
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Kaiju

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Fri Jun 17, 2011 1:30 pm

Exactly, Bearman. We inspire people. That's why we do this crazy thing we do.
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Gauge



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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Mon Jun 20, 2011 8:55 am

I have never been bullied to any taumatic extent, just suffered the normal childhood teasing that thickens the skin of the average person. When people insult or bully us, I think our reaction to that is indicative of our self-perception. The more we are down on ourselves, the more we will take such bullying and insults personally. These bullies don't know us, or what we're about, so why should their opinion matter at all, or make anyone feel bad?

Remember what it is that you do every day to make your community a better, safer place to live -- even for the morons who bully you -- and you can feel good about yourself no matter what anyone says. You might even ask taunters what they have done lately to help anyone. Making taunters think is one way to shut them up. It takes all the brainpower they normally use to form insults.

Physical bullying is a much different subject, and your response depends on who is doing the bullying to some extent. A 100lb girl isn't going to combat a 250lb abusive co-worker, male or female, unless they really like hospital food. Physical assault is a crime, and I would suggest you report it to police. It is never acceptable, and should not be tolerated. Or...kick 'em in the ding-ding, as Superhero might say.
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Zimmer

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Mon Jun 20, 2011 1:01 pm

You get used to it over time. Start being a freak early for practice.

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Urban Avenger

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Mon Jun 20, 2011 1:10 pm

You look like paul reubens there.

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Zimmer

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Mon Jun 20, 2011 1:14 pm

You're a fuckstick.
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Urban Avenger

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PostSubject: Re: One thing I noticed is never disscussed in training   Mon Jun 20, 2011 1:17 pm

Zimmer wrote:
You're a fuckstick.

LMAO!

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