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 Growing a "Thicker Hide"

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Bearman

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PostSubject: Growing a "Thicker Hide"   Sat Sep 04, 2010 1:12 am

I was just curious if anyone had any tips on toughening up emotionally or psychologically or "growing a thicker hide." I expect many of you have dealt with people who are petty, make fun of you or like to "troll." I have myself... but only now is it becoming a problem. Many years back I was a cold and uncaring person. When people attempted to offend me, I simply laughed at them and wrote them off as pathetic for even trying. I used arrogance as a sort of shield. Since then I learned the error of my ways and instead spent many years attempting to genuinely value people and their opinions and input. Now I wear my heart on my sleeve, but when someone is cruel, insensitive, rude or inconsiderate, I can't help but take it to heart and it effects me more than I'd like to admit. I wind up spending hours dwelling on it, wondering how anybody could be so insensitive. Sometimes it alters my mood so much I practically devalue their lives all together... finding myself saying things like "People who can't make the slightest bit of effort to think before they speak hardly even deserve to live." Of course I'd never act on those thoughts, but I really dislike becoming so irrationally angry and letting my mood control my current perspective so much. Maybe I give people too much credit, maybe I expect too much... but regardless, I know this needs to change if I'm going to live this lifestyle (being a RLSH). I need to figure out how to grow a thicker hide. Bears can take bullets and live for many years. I should at least be able to take an insult. I was hoping some of you might have some advice. People keep telling me "Don't let it get to you" or "Don't assign them any value" but it's hard for me... I just don't understand. I'm one of those people who believes everyone has the potential for good... when people act selfishly, it makes me second guess myself, and think that I might be wrong... That people might not be worth protecting, and I can't afford to let those thoughts cross my mind.
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E0N (Inactive)

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PostSubject: Re: Growing a "Thicker Hide"   Sat Sep 04, 2010 1:19 am

Yes. Not to seem like a broken record, but do standup comedy.

You'll at least face some hecklers and the thing is you have to deal with them, but if you just viciously attack them you'll lose the audience. So you learn to be mean in a kind of nice way and to let things slide off you.

Also just chill. Words are nothing to get hung about.

Strawberry fields forever and stuff.
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Crossfire the Crusader

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PostSubject: Re: Growing a "Thicker Hide"   Sat Sep 04, 2010 1:52 am

What I often do when dealing with jerks is reach into my pocket and act like Im pulling out something small. I then pretend to toss it or hand it to them and say "Here's a handful of I don't give a hoot. Feel free to use it whenever you feel the need to speak to me again."

I was being cursed out by a person not too long ago and I asked them "Do you have tourrets syndrome or do you need to go jump in the lake?"

And remember - people only have the right to make you feel bad if you give them that right. If they are just mouthy trolls who need to shut up and go away then all you need to do is ignore them and move on...they will either go away or shut up or both when you take away their ability to bother you.

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Superhuman

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PostSubject: Re: Growing a "Thicker Hide"   Sun Sep 05, 2010 2:56 am

Only take in the positive and reject negative... People say evil things out of ignorance , fear and just plain stupidity.....
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Polarman

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PostSubject: Re: Growing a "Thicker Hide"   Wed Sep 08, 2010 1:58 pm

It seems that nomatter who we are we are all attacked by one insult or another I just hold my head up high Sometimes I might say something funny right back like the guy who had the gall to call me a Mother f***er to my face I told him off and shut him up at the same time He couldnt think of a response to my comeback at him

I dont know your mother that well Was she that drunk that came by my place last night? I called the RCMP and the guy they sent over just got promoted from dog catcher to pick her up

Sometimes all the drunk tanks might be full so they may sometimes lock people in the dog pound

One lady wanted me to give her a kiss at the playground She had been throwing stones at kids and she heard one of the older kids call out to her "Miss me miss me now you gotta kiss me" The kid who said that didnt see me comming but thought he could distract her so his younger brother could get away from her However she turned and saw me and thinking that I said that she demanded that I give her a kiss She had a bat in her hand and had cornered me up against the side of a play structure I told her to close her eyes and then I would give her the kiss that she deserved She closed her eyes and brought her face closer and closer to mine As soon as she puckered up and made smacking noises with her ugly fat lips..... Puppy my pet rat came around from behind my neck and reached over and gave her a great big kiss Well she said it was the best kiss she had ever had in a long time and wished that her boyfriend could kiss her like that I told her I wished he would too then she opened her eyes and looked down to see the rat kissing her As she stepped back my rat grabbed her lips with his paws and held on to her while she screamed and yelled and hollered and swore at me to get it off The older kid came down with his father who was just parking the police cruiser in the driveway and on his way into the house to make lunch The cop stopped in his tracks when he heard her demand that I actually kiss her I then made my own demands I demanded that she go home and shave that ugly mustache off her face then I might or might not consider it The cop stood there with his mouth open at us After he got the cuffs on her and put her in the cruiser He told me that he has heard every argument in the book but in 20 years he had never expected to hear anyone put a woman in her place like that Most arguments that have one or both parties yelling like she was usually have alot of cursing cussing and swearing involved and Im not one for swearing in front of kids Im also not known for using unessecary violence either Puppy got his reward He was later invited to the kids birthday party where he had lots of fun climbing the towers that the kids built for him and he enjoyed all the salad that he could eat even enjoyed the RC car ride Sat in the car with his paws on the steering wheel and looked excatl;y like he was actually driving the car around the room so if people compare me to a rat I tell them thanks for the compliment

Ive had people tell me that I look cold walking around all winter like I do with shortsleeve shirts and no coat I tell them Thank you you look rather cute too
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PostSubject: Re: Growing a "Thicker Hide"   Sun Sep 12, 2010 1:48 pm

Hmmm where to start... Ok, first off, I am somewhat cold sometimes, but I have noticed that I only get like this when I am angry. I kinda blank everything out. So I guess that helps. I know you don't want to be like that all of the time, and I am not, but I think that you need to learn how to turn your emotions on and off so to speak. Also, I know this may sound cliche, but always consider the source. People that do these things aren't worth your time. But going to school has to be about the best way to develop the "bullshit shield" so to speak. I do all kinds of things that people don't consider "normal" and tons of people laugh at me for it, but it really doesn't bother me one bit, because I know that I am doing what I want to do. I am on the cross country team at my school, and I wear really short shorts, and often no shirt. People make stupid comments about it all the time. Am I going to all of a sudden listen to those losers and wear longer shorts? Just to please them? They still won't like me! And I am fine with that. Your true friends are the ones who stick with you even when you do crazy, unconventional things. That is all that matters to me. Oh and if it helps you at all, I do flip people off occasionally (usually football players who are laughing at our attire). I always feel better when I do.



I'm not sure if any of that makes sense, I was kinda rambling, but I hope you get the idea.
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