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PostSubject: Leadership Trait - TACT   Wed Feb 25, 2015 10:19 pm

Tact: a keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense; skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations.

Tact: a keen sense of what is appropriate, tasteful, or aesthetically pleasing; taste; discrimination.

Tact means that you can deal with people in a manner that will maintain good relations and avoid problems. It means that you are polite, calm, and firm. Tact it is a critical trait of Leadership and it barely has a home on this forum. It shows up on this playground to be shared, but is more often beat down by sarcasm, arrogance, rudeness, and intolerance.

No one on here is perfect… especially me, but effort is the determining factor in working towards it. It’s spooky when one considers the age-old concept of, ‘Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.” or whichever version of this idea that you have learned… because, THIS concept seems to be struggling to have a presence here.

What is a Real Life Super Hero? How should RLSHs carry themselves? Is being a RLSH limited to appearance, weapons, armor, and patrolling? Should they have a level of professionalism? Should they inspire others? Should they be careful as to how they speak and respond to others?

It is imperative that this debate exists within the community, as well as within one’s self.

Why?!?

Take the questions I just asked in the paragraph above and apply them to Law Enforcement; merely change the term RLSH with the word ‘Policeman’. Now, let’s take it a little further…

Imagine Police Officers with the following personality types listed in the following post and bold enough to speak on them as though they were proud:

Link: http://therlsh.7forum.biz/t11104-personality-types

Now, imagine meeting those same Police Officers in uniform and on duty as they question you. Would they inspire you?!?

I have watched new members come on here only to be bombarded by the ritual of sarcasm and annoyance that has plagued this site into an ‘elitist pit’ while those on here despise elitism. I have watched new ideas crushed by simple, rude, and brutal comments that started as a quip only to end in the retirement of learning and wisdom gained.

I have watched those lost while seeking guidance be forced into defending their concepts as they are herded into the corners of, what seems to be the only RLSH technique on here that is accepted as somewhat ‘cool’, crime-fighting and how their concepts are stupid, frivolous, unreal, etc. It’s kinda’ like a cop saying the only way to serve the public is with a gun, a vest, a badge, and a patrol route. Ultimately, it just doesn’t make sense.

I have watched new members that have now been here for a while drift into the realm of imitation by ‘piggy-backing’ on the sarcastic comments of those that they perceive as veterans. I see them deliver quips for answers and join the wolf pack to attack those they truly have very little experience with. I have watched them come on here to evolve, while over time discovering that they have devolved.

What is a Real Life Super Hero if it is not a person that is here to help?

"What you practice is what you do best… and that is a double edged sword!"

If a person practices running, sooner or later they become faster. If a person practices patience, they become a great teacher. If a person practices sarcasm, they become a master of spite. If a person practices rudeness, they become a jerk. If a person practices degradation, then they become a master of hurt.

Where are the Leaders on this board?

People are afraid to express themselves, lest they be considered a deviant amongst a community of deviants. Is this really the best thing to offer for so many staring into the darkness of reality with a blindfold as their glasses? If you are a REAL LIVE SUPER HERO, then grab their hands, have some patience, and help them through the night. Show them what a hero is supposed to do so that they can deliver that when they meet someone else that is lost.

'Speak as you act; Act as the way you speak.' Become the ideal that you wish to learn from. Stop the short answer sarcastic quips and take the time to instruct, think outside the box, and invite new methods to be a hero.

You are ALL Real Life Super Heroes as long as you are willing to change for the better and evolve into the best!!

-Omen, “Heroes aren’t made during good times!” – The Elite Forces Division
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Anyman

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PostSubject: Re: Leadership Trait - TACT   Thu Feb 26, 2015 3:30 am

Burn-out is a common problem in many social demographics, especially when a certain modicum of professionalism is expected. More so, when the nature of that demographic's defining qualities invite conflict and opposition. Upsetting the status quo is easier, in the initial stages, than contending with the ensuing conflicts of the fall-out from any action undertaken, regardless of subtlety involved. When one considers the propensity for those in confrontational vocations for pride to cloud one's judgment and disestablish decorum and common courtesy, the resultant isolationism produces a series of subgroups within the subculture. In less urgent, less extreme circumstances, a more gradual approach is both obviously the ideal choice, and clearly feasible. In drastic circumstances, or when a stimulus automatically elicits negative connotations, employing reason is a difficult endeavor. In some organizations, such aggressive, confrontational treatment is considered a type of necessary baptism by fire: getting the members of the group accustomed to adversity as much as possible, and refining their effective qualities, to make them better at their vocation. In such organizations, however, a peripheral element must be maintained to improve and uphold emotional, psychological, and even spiritual well-being. In such organizations, it becomes abundantly clear, in a relatively short period of time, that neglecting these elements will eventually contribute to poor performance and shorter tenure. This is why such elements cannot be maintained at a merely peripheral level; they must be inherent in any organization or demographic, to some degree; preferably, as a fundamental component.
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PostSubject: Re: Leadership Trait - TACT   Thu Feb 26, 2015 10:31 am

Being a Real Life Super Hero is not an official job. It is a set of actions taken by choice with a title applied to it derived from intent and inspiration. There is NO requirement for a RLSH to be at work every day. It allows one the opportunity to escape accountability and responsibility while focusing on enjoyment and a perceived duty to others.

Burn-out should never be a problem, when one has the power to take a break and start back up upon will. We have to be very careful with direct comparisons to occupations requiring accountability and responsibility, in that sense.

Your premise of urgency in an extreme circumstance, once again, does not hold up in an environment established by choice. Those participating have the free Will and Right to come and go as they please. In this sense, a ‘gradual approach’ is one of the best ways to include them and indoctrinate them into something positive. This is NOT boot camp. It is a community of peers with a common belief and a love for something greater; lest we are lying to ourselves. This is not the place for a ‘baptism by fire’; it is a home for guidance, sharing, instruction, and learning… hence, a Community. This is not a gang in which a person has to prove their loyalty and get ‘beat in’ to become a member.

We have to address the way that we view this house; we must ALWAYS strive to make it a home.

I love your last statements which reiterated the need to maintain a higher value for emotional, psychological, and spiritual well-being. I totally agree!! If you notice, the tenure of new members appear to be short while in actuality, they have merely shifted...

In the past, a new member would appear with wide-eyes, a million questions, and fanboy love. The veterans would set the tone by embracing them with a level of history while inviting them to get involved. From that, a million more questions would be asked for direction and involvement and the focus would be on traits first and actions second.

There used to be an EXTREMELY popular post listing 21 or more ways to be a RLSH, without trying to be an ‘A$$-Kicker’. It was awesome because it praised and showed how volunteering, teaching, storytelling, and giving were just as powerful as stopping crime. Crime-stopping addresses the present while hoping to change the future, the actions just mention deliver hope to the future while creating smiles in the present. This is the essence of ‘Inspiration’.

Now, when a new member comes aboard, they introduce themselves and they are welcomed. They hesitantly make a few comments and they are watched. They read the quips and sarcasm from those that have been here for a while and they absorb that as the acceptable culture. They take a chance to launch an idea based around what is considered ‘cool’ and acceptable (Crime-Stopping) and they are RIPPED apart!

They quietly fade into the shadows, stop proposing new ideas, and spectate on the board every now and then… or they join in with the sarcasm crew, to be accepted. The next thing we know... we are breeding a group of uninviting jerks that are rebranding and redefining the term Real Life Super Hero.

Now when a legitimate question is asked to the populace, there is merely a count down before the first one-line, ambiguous quip will be delivered. Once it happens, the rudeness moves in and TACT is all-but lost.

We have to strive to do better, because there are so many that want to follow that path also.

Tact needs to have its place here in order to Guide and Lead.

Note – I want to be clear of one thing, when I use the term ‘WE’ I use it from the perspective of a member of the Forum and Community… not as a RLSH. I do not and will not claim that title. I have a ton of respect for you guys and I would never disgrace the title by lying to fit in when I’m not doing the things that you do.

-Omen, ‘Heroes aren’t made during good times!’ –The Elite Forces Division
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The Black Stampede

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PostSubject: Re: Leadership Trait - TACT   Thu Feb 26, 2015 2:41 pm

So I shouldn't be making all my sarcastic quips? But those are like my trademark! And besides, I feel that I only direct them at those newcomers who are plainly liars or are just up to no good. The way I see it, I'm fighting ill intent with humour.
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PostSubject: Re: Leadership Trait - TACT   Thu Feb 26, 2015 3:13 pm

There is nothing wrong with a quip backed up by enriching wisdom, it makes it witty. By all means use humor as a tool… in fact, it is one of the most powerful tools that one can use to solve emotional issues. What I offer, is the challenge to do it from a positive angle to invite thought in the person receiving it.

For example, everyone knows that Spider-Man is known for his witty quips, but he usually back them up later with a moral and/or a realization. This keeps his character balanced and lovable by the masses. This is the power of TACT.

When you compare the following two statements:

“This is the single dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Gonna’ go, this is a waste of time…”

“Thinkin’ out-the-box, again? Coolness!! Let me throw on my thinkin’ cap to make this idea work!”

Both of these have a distinctive approach that creates an image of the speaker, as well as an invitation to enter into something deeper. The first one makes the presenter defensive and forces them to defend their thought at the risk of being thought of as a fool. The second one, lets them know that you are willing to share your knowledge to grow their concept in a better way.

Yes, I have been watching you, Black Stampede… and believe it or not, I am VERY glad you responded to this post. Your positive potential has been bleeding out of each of your statements and I think it is a good thing. I’ve seen positive and negative influences pressed upon you and I have seen you delay in various responses as though you gave thought in the direction of your answers. This is power and the freedom of Will.

The difference between a SARCASTIC quip and a WITTY quip is merely the approach; one is positive and one is negative.

Keep on 'Heroing' and Keep on 'Quiping'... just keep them witty!!

-Omen, ‘Heroes aren’t made during good times!’ – The Elite Forces Division
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PostSubject: Re: Leadership Trait - TACT   Tue Mar 03, 2015 10:35 pm

I like the things I'm seeing on the site!
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PostSubject: Re: Leadership Trait - TACT   Mon Apr 20, 2015 5:34 pm

I tried to be nice again. Turned out to be 204. I'm considering taking a Ph.D. and become a supervillan.
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PostSubject: Re: Leadership Trait - TACT   Mon Apr 20, 2015 10:21 pm

In that case, I owe you an apology.

(I'm still happy you tried to be 'nice' anyway!)

-Omen
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Gauge



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PostSubject: Re: Leadership Trait - TACT   Sun May 24, 2015 10:37 pm

204 is a special case. Historians in the future will tell fantastic stories...
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PostSubject: Re: Leadership Trait - TACT   Mon Sep 14, 2015 10:18 pm

Every leader has traits that fit the situation they are leaders in. . .it's amazing how many CEO's and SEAL team members read biographies. . .how many listen to speeches and talks by people they admire. . .SEALs and CEO's also have mentors. . .sometimes till they die. . .there is never a day or moment they cannot learn. . .sometimes when they don't know what they do some have said to pretend to be the person you want to be. . .morals is a basis to start from. . .clear boundries and lines are also definite lines. . .strength. . .but of character. . .not martial arts. . .not skills with weapons. . .the mind. . .the heart. . .the passion. . .the faith of doing what is right will overcome any lack of skills. . .or it will hone what skills you do posses. . .
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PostSubject: Re: Leadership Trait - TACT   Tue Sep 15, 2015 12:04 pm

At age 65 &1/2 I am likely one of the oldest if not the oldest in here. Started my RLSH activities before the term RLSH or the Internet as it is now even existed. So here is what this Geezer has worked out and it may help here. Listed in no particular order. A good idea or technique can come from anyone of any age so I listen to everyone politely. No one is so dumb that I might not learn something from them or so smart that they might not learn something from me. Going from being polite to mean SOB is way easier than the reverse. Once someone is born they start to learn grow and develop. Once they stop learning growing and developing they start to die. Old as I am with all of my ailments aches and pains I'm not ready to check out yet by a long shot.
 
Superman
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PostSubject: Re: Leadership Trait - TACT   Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:52 pm

An inspiring and humbling thread, ideas ..

I was a member a few years ago, didn't participate much but got a little uncomfortable with a few egos bashing each other and some nasty stuff going on.  I never got involved but drifted away and forgot my log in, and lost track of the site.  I re registered when I heard Lenny Robinson died tragically.
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PostSubject: Re: Leadership Trait - TACT   Thu Sep 17, 2015 6:59 am

I second that, Daremyth, this really is a fascinating thread, and I wish I had read this sooner.

I've experienced the sarcasm and ridicule mentioned.  Not here, but in other online communities.  My ideas have not generally been welcome.  I'm a philosopher at heart, and most people don't want to hear anything that might challenge their preconceptions.  Then I came here, and I was welcomed with open arms, though I've learned to keep my mouth shut unless asked for my opinion (usually).

My point is simply that sometimes you need to find a band of freaks if you are a freak yourself.  Anyone here that claims not to be a freak is probably kidding themselves.  I'm a total freak, I freely admit.  I want to help people?  How weird am I?  LOL  That was sarcasm right there.

If I may, I'd like to offer an opinion.  Though I haven't been here long, it seems we tend to attract people that mean well, but perhaps fantasize a bit too much on beating up criminals.  That's a quick way to get yourself killed, as I'm sure many would agree.  I think attracting people like this, however, is a good thing, because we can advise them to be more careful, to look at the situation realistically, that life is not a comic book, and perhaps help them apply their desire to help others in a realistic way.  That is, without sarcasm or immaturity. 

(I may have gone off on a tangent there, but I just felt the need to say that)
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PostSubject: Re: Leadership Trait - TACT   Thu Sep 17, 2015 11:41 am

I like what I am reading, guys! We’ve had some up and downs here, much like many other forums, what I believe makes this forum different is its heart. This forum is built around the concept of Real Life Super Heroes. Its foundation is based upon helping others and bettering one’s self.

This forum has become a community… a community of deviants that finally have the ability to be heard through their written words from others that are willing to listen to the meaning behind them. Many that visit and ‘speak’ on here, have not had that before; hence, this community has often slipped into the classic social norms in which bullies are born, negativity through sarcasm holds the floor, and intolerance defines ‘coolness’.

Periodically, we need to be reminded who we are. I need to be reminded, who I am. I am different than the norm, as is many others here.

We can’t become the bullies and jerks that have always dictated the levels of stratification in culture. You heroes are here to help others, while us watching you seek to be inspired by your decisions and actions.

Sage, I have ALWAYS agreed that we needed to slow down on the armor, weapons, and butt-kicking stuff so widely portrayed here. The community brings in a lot of kids and I have seen the effects over and over as misguided youths come here seeking direction end up in conversations about armor, weapons, martial arts, and/or patrolling.

These kids are lost, lonely, and sometimes angry. They can be angry with their surroundings or simply angry at another person.  When they come here and learn about armor, weapons, and martial arts… they feel it is the solution to their problems. When they learn that others on here are deviants as much as they are, they fully embrace what they hear, see, and read as their new calling.

They actually believe that a RLSH NEEDS armor, weapons, martial arts, and patrolling to claim the title. They forget that a teacher, musician, artist, nurse, or even a Boy scout can be a real life super hero while no weapons are required… merely, the tools required to help others to smile and be thankful.

Leadership is one of the most critical traits sought on this board. Philosophy provides critical thinking, while wit and humor gives us a reason to laugh and share what we’ve learned with others.

Daremyth, I am SO glad that you have found your voice here and I hope you continue to post. We need the input.

I didn’t get to say this on the other thread so I will say it now…

Welcome to the community Sage and Daremyth!

By-the-way… Thank you, for bringing this back to the forefront, Superman.

-Omen, “Heroes aren’t made during good times!”  -The Elite Forces Division
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PostSubject: Re: Leadership Trait - TACT   Fri Sep 18, 2015 3:34 am

"Being a geek is all about being honest about what you enjoy and not being afraid to demonstrate that affection.  It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something....  Being a geek is extremely liberating."  Simon Pegg.    

Being able to speak freely without fear is even more important if you're on the fringe, feel like an outcast.  Even if young or seemingly naïve minds come to mix in the fold with ideas of vigilante justice, it's coming from the same ideal, a sense of rage at injustice, suffering, a call to duty, to act. 
Sage, I enjoy your 'tangents' and think people could benefit from philosophical and thoughtful advise, especially from seasoned RLSHs.  But also from newcomers, whatever age. Thank you for making others feel welcome, for speaking your mind, as well as omen, who's embarrassing to follow because he's downright eloquent. 
 
I think dcguardian brought the thread back to the forefront.  He's one of the established RLSHs it's hard not to admire and hope to emulate.  I remember his hospital visit... the sick boy who brought pictures dcguardian had given him into his treatments because dc had told him that he was leaving some of his strength with him.  He took it to heart and it helped him.  It was moving.  Superman's hope and help are always inspiring.  These people, all the RLSH types, do make a difference.  I hear it.  See it.  The world can be pretty bleak sometimes. Geeks, freaks, nerds, Trekkers, the more the merrier.  Or stealth shadows and sentinels that patrol the darkness.  The community is vital.
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PostSubject: Re: Leadership Trait - TACT   Fri Sep 18, 2015 5:59 am

Thank you Omen, and Daremyth Smile

I hope more people see this thread because it is one of the most important ideas I've read on this forum.  The idea I'm speaking of, aside from the one originally brought up in this thread, is humility.

A mask, armor, weapons, and martial arts knowledge can give you a false sense of security.  Confidence is certainly a trait needed among us geeks,  but too much confidence can be dangerous, which is why it must be balanced with humility.  

Put simply, thinking highly of yourself is good to the extent that it makes you feel capable of getting on the street to help.  But if it ever makes you feel invincible, that's when you are prone to getting hurt or killed.  It's important to understand that you are only human, and we are flawed creatures.  The "S" is RLSH is not about being beyond human, but just being a better human.
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PostSubject: Re: Leadership Trait - TACT   Sat Sep 19, 2015 6:12 pm

True confidence is different from pride or elitism. Elitism comes from an inflated sense of pride, which is a defense mechanism against feelings of personal inadequacy. A sense of the value of others gives us a sense of our own value, as there are few major differences between us. When we can see the merits in others, we can see their flaws in a balanced perspective. Knowing that we have merits to counterbalance their flaws, and flaws requiring their merits to balance, gives us a sense of our place in this world. We can take proper stock of our value - both our indispensable position, and how indispensable others are to us, - and then, neither inflated pride, nor diminishment, can plague us. Some have had their sense of inadequacy injected into them violently, and it takes a great deal of effort to overcome that feeling, but with a strong enough will, it can be done.
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PostSubject: Re: Leadership Trait - TACT   Sun Sep 20, 2015 6:26 am

Well said, Anyman.  

I've fought my own feelings of inadequacy, brought on by past demons.  Perhaps I am still fighting them.  There was a time that, as you said, those feelings turned into elitism.  It takes a great amount of effort to overcome that.  Sometimes it takes the realization of our lack of perfection, our flaws, our sins.

Inevitably we see how we are all, relatively, equal.  None better than any other.  Hero and criminal.  Sage and fool.
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PostSubject: Re: Leadership Trait - TACT   Wed Nov 23, 2016 10:54 am

This post is needed more than ever, right now.

I miss many of these heroes!

-Omen
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PostSubject: Re: Leadership Trait - TACT   Thu Nov 24, 2016 12:27 am

I wish they were still on here to help. I would love to here their words of wisdom.
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PostSubject: Re: Leadership Trait - TACT   Thu Nov 24, 2016 4:35 pm

Old fart reporting in ... lol . any advice that I offer has been field tested by me and several others and found to work. But at the same time I know that what works for me may not work for everyone else. So I always try to say about any advice including mine only try it if you are reasonably sure it will work for you. After all it's your happy ass in a sling if it backfires. When it comes tomy ass or any other section of my bod I reserve final judgment.

Superman
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